I want to defend my male race. Existence gave man the capacity to fight against existence, to swim against the stream, to be a doer, to say no. Hearing you and your therapists, I tried to drop this and this effort to drop only gave me misery. I don’t believe existence made me a man in order to become female without ever blossoming into the full potential of my maleness, of my mind. Please comment.
“Swami Antar Mario, Germany is the only land in the whole world which is called the fatherland. Every other land is called the motherland. I said I love the German people, except for a small inheritance that they have been carrying for centuries — a male chauvinist idea of themselves. It has created two world wars and it may create the third. It is not new that Mario is saying, “I have to defend my male race.” This very idea of defending and the idea that he has to fight existence, he has to be a doer, he has to say no. Here, trying to drop effort, he has not been able to. He only became more miserable.
“What kind of man are you, if you cannot drop effort? How are you going to defend the male race? Many women are dropping effort, and you cannot drop effort. You are defeated already.
“And why this fear of let-go, of going with the current? Why this fear of saying yes to existence? — just an ego trip.
“It is one of the ugliest things in anyone, because it is the wall that prevents you from seeing beyond yourself. You are surrounded by a prison of your own and you cannot see beyond the walls, you don’t know the sky, you don’t know the stars, you don’t know that this whole existence is in a tremendous let-go. Everything is effortlessly moving. The trees are growing. Do you think they are making any effort to grow? The stars are moving with tremendous speed. Do you think they are making any effort? You are breathing. Do you think it is something to do with your effort? Your heart is beating. Is it something to do with you and your doing? If it was dependent on your doing, in sleep you would forget to breathe, you would forget the heart, whether it is beating or not. And then no chance… In the morning you would not even be able to remember that in the middle of the night you forgot to breathe. Once finished, finished.